I guess it's been just about a month since I've last posted (act as if you actually noticed), but you know, summer and life happened.
As I was munching on tortilla chips and cheddar cheese at 10:30am, I realized that not only do I need to go grocery shopping, but also that I've made some interesting cooking faux pas in my time here. But first I'd like to pat myself on the back for spelling "faux pas" correctly on my first attempt. Fucking French.
I'll start off with the worst of them all: that one time I accidentally added baking powder instead of corn starch to partially made turkey chili. My roommate and I were cooking Sunday dinner, and I was (wo)manning the pot. I grabbed a bunch of the ingredients we'd need from our poorly organized spice cabinet and set them out on the counter. Blah blah cooking stuff happened, and I added what I thought was corn starch to the ground turkey. Then it started to bubble. And I was like, hey. I don't think that happened last time. Why is there a large blob forming in this pot right now. OH I KNOW WHY cause I can't read and added baking powder. To our delicious turkey chili.
Now, not like I need to emphasize this, but Lauren and I are super bad ass and neither of us like to waste things. Especially things of the food variety. So we looked at each other and were like ok. Let's save this meat. We promptly got out a colander, poured in the Hiroshima turkey, and rinsed it off with water. I promise I'm not making this up. And you know what? It turned out delicious, no one died, and we saved a few bucks by not disposing of my cooking disaster. End.
I've also set off the smoke alarm because there was a bunch of spilled shit in one of our burners and it started smoking. I of course frantically ran around trying to figure out where the hell our smoke detector was, located it, and began jumping up and down waving a paper towel at it to clear the smoke. And it totally worked.
To add to that list, I once spilled about a quarter cup of vegetable oil in my preheated oven (that was a lovely smell), cut my finger three times while chopping things (and once on the blender), acquired several mild burns, dropped an entire brick of cheese on a not-so-clean kitchen floor (totally rinsed it off and used it), and nearly stabbed myself in the stomach while trying to cut a spaghetti squash in half. There are plenty more, but I don't want to strain myself too much trying to remember them all.
To top things off, here's a list of (edible) stuff in my fridge right now:
- 2 eggs
- 9 slices of American cheese
- about 1/2 inch of a brick of cheddar
- leftover pasta
- feta cheese
- ground turkey
- super old pickles
I shit you not.
So yeah, I think the last time I went to the store was 3-4 weeks ago. I guess I'll be living off cheese for another day or two. I'm gonna go HAM at Market Basket on Tuesday.
Is it too late to try to convince you that I'm a good cook? Cause I promise I am.
