Reasons Why I Dislike Revolving Doors

Can I start this by saying how hungover I am right now? Really hungover. Like, a lot. That's what happens when you try to drink two nights in a row after graduating college. And Butler's loss to Marquette last night was absolutely devastating, so naturally I drank my feelings.

But anyway, I guess it's time to discuss revolving doors. I'm not a huge fan of those. I get that they're probably better at keeping the inside temperature consistent and all, but I think they're a pain in the ass. They take forever. I really don't want to put that much time and effort into entering/exiting a building. Then the normal doors right next to the revolving ones always say "Please use revolving doors." And I mean, they said please... so I feel the need to listen to them. (Shout out to Isabel, who is a huge rebel and always uses the normal doors. Like a boss.)

And what about when a stranger accidentally (or purposefully?) goes into the little pie slice with you? Way awkward. What do you even call those things anyway? Compartments? Sections? Quarters? I don't know, SHIT.

I also hate it when the door is turned so that two of the spaces are open. Which one do I choose? What if someone starts coming from the other side and smushes me?! It's a legitimate concern. It's almost happened to me. Then when you do see someone coming from the other side you have to run a little to make it in before you get owned by the door, and that's just dramatic. 

The one awesome thing is when someone else is either in front or behind you, and then you don't have to do any of the pushing at all. I'm probably close to the worst person to share a revolving door with. Don't care.

Going back to the hangover thing, I legit had to stop writing this post because thinking that hard and being that productive was making me want to vomit. I also have not left my apartment today, I never put in my contacts, and I'm not wearing a bra. No need to tell me how awesome I am, I already know.

Met A Guy Named Chip Last Night

So I guess I drank a lot last night. Enough for my roommate to force me to take out my contacts, to remind me to take off my pants (like I ever need a reminder for that, PSH), to pee outside, to not close my blinds, and to sleep in my bra. Oh, and to eat a grilled cheese at 10am. Which means I was proooobably still drunk when I woke up. DGAF YOLO SOCKS.

How did this happen, you ask? Well, do I have a story for you (it's not that exciting, don't get your hopes up). It all started in Fenway. And ended in Fenway, actually. We probably should have bar hopped a bit. Anyway, we went to a sports bar in Fenway to watch Butler beat Xavier (WOOT), and discovered a man at the bar cheering for Butler. There were about five different games on the TVs, so we waited till we heard three 'woos' till we went up and talked to him. Just to be safe.

Turns out our new friend was betting on Butler to win. Good decision. Obviously we befriended him and his two balding friends, and they proceeded to buy us drinks all night. I think I had three large beers (24oz-ish), a whiskey coke, and a shot of Patron... as well as two large beers prior to that. Needless to say their bar tab was enomous.

Side thought: sometimes I get a strong urge to push a button. So I push the shift key since it doesn't do anything anyway. Pushing buttons is fun, don't judge.

One of our new buddies went by the name 'Chip,' and all I could think of was this guy. And I may or may not have told him that. Not sure. Anyway, as the night went on, Chip got rather handsy. He kept fucking touching me, and I was all like, dude, lay off. He was perfectly normal/polite for the first hour or so, but then he was apparently a bit over-served. And I heard him talking to Lauren about my butt. Not ok. For some reason I agreed to exchanging numbers (I'm not very good at saying no/denying people), so hopefully he's too embarrassed to ever contact me. Fingers crossed.

Then closing time happened yadda yadda we caught a cab home and I promptly died. This wasn't a good story, I'm sorry. Got too lazy to go into details that no one will care about. Commence lazy Sunday in Ninja Turltle underpants.

P.S. Totally just did 15 pushups, waddup.

If You Do This, I Hate You

Hey party people,

I know it's been a while (as if anyone noticed), but I've had nothing to write about. Sorry I'm not. I think it's about time for another hateful rant, don't you? I've been noticing that there are a lot of people who piss me off. Some individuals simply don't understand how to behave appropriately in public, and it gets on my nerves. I'm sure you're wondering what you should (or shouldn't) do in order to avoid being one of those people that I'd like to punch in the nuts, so I was thoughtful enough to compile a list (shocker) of people who get on my nerves. You're welcome.

1. People who read a book while walking. It's pretty much the pedestrian version of texting and driving. They end up walking at a snail's pace, and they never move out of the way when you're walking straight at them. No book is that good that you just HAVE to read it at every waking second. Be a normal person and read while sitting down. Or, like, talk to people.
2. People who sneeze rapid-fire like seven times in a row. Stop fucking sneezing so much and breathe. There are only so many blessing that I can give out, and you used them all up about five sneezes ago.
3. People who talk on the phone on the bus/train. It's called privacy, ever heard of it? I don't want to hear your conversation, and you shouldn't want me to hear it either. Cause I'm totally judging you.
4. On another public transportation-related note: when you're getting off the train/bus and the person sitting next to you won't stand up to let you off. Is it really that hard? Now I'm just going to rub my butt in your face and that's just awkward for both of us.
5. I also hate people who blast music from speakers on the bus/train. I don't want to hear your gangster rap, nor your Mexican folk music. This is not a party. This is a train.
6. People who don't move out of the way when you're running towards them. I'm putting in the effort to exercise here; the least you can do is move your ass two steps to the side. Share the sidewalk, people.
7. People in groups of two or three who somehow manage to take up a 20 foot hallway. How? Seriously, how?
8. People who fart on the bus/train or at the gym. There are enough people coughing and sneezing all over the place, do you really have to add to that with your gas? I swear I'll throw up one day in the not-so-distant future. Hold it in. For everyone's sake.
9. So basically, I hate people. I apologize for not being apologetic.

That's all, folks.