I'M PREGNANT

JK no I'm not. In the words of Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up: "you have to have sex to get pregnant." And we all know I'm not faring well with the opposite sex in Boston.

Pregnancy jokes aside, I've been getting crazy food cravings lately. Very specific, crazy, strong food cravings. And not cravings like ohhhh my goshhhh I want some chocolate right now. Cravings so real I swear I can taste them. In my mouth. They've been happening often enough that I started writing them down, and I felt compelled to share them. Plus, I haven't blogged for, like, three weeks. WHATEVER I know no one actually cares, so I'm not sorry. I'll keep this one short cause I'm lazy. And, you know, I have tons of exciting things to do this weekend after getting 22 inches of snow. So I can't be wasting my precious time blogging for the five of you that will actually read this.

Food etc. that I've been craving the past few weeks:

• Red wine. This happened at two separate moments hours apart when I was at work.
• Tacos.
• Easy Mac. No shame. That shit's delicious.
• Tomato soup.
• Queso dip.
• Banana bread. 
• Peanut butter cups.
• Sourdough bread. There's a huge shortage of sourdough bread in the world.
• Baked potato.
• Teriyaki steak and/or chicken.

Some of your are probably all like, whatever Jamie. All of that food is delicious. Who cares. But I'm telling you, these cravings have been out of control. I don't know if I smelled something or had a taste in my mouth that made me think of these things, but I've never experienced such real/strong/specific cravings before. And let me remind you: I'm not pregnant.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.