Hey You Guys.

Hey strangers (winky face),

Can I complain for a second about how much I hate automatic flushing toilets? Jk I don't need your permission. I hate automatic flushing toilets. I have since I was a little girl. I specifically remember going on road trips with my family, stopping at rest stops in Ohio, and refusing to go pee. Because of automatic flushers. 

My mom would try to brace me by telling me when they were automatic, but I think it'd end up scaring me so much that I literally could not go. I mean, how the hell do they know when I'm done? I'LL tell YOU when I'm finished, alright? Don't just assume. I control you. And half the time I end up walking in on a toilet who clearly did not do its job. So they're pretty much entirely pointless.

I think I was terrified that they'd suck me in. I mean that's pretty much a kid's worst nightmare, right? Screw monsters and running out of Cheetos. Toilets. And they genuinely surprised me every time without fail. The loud noise scared me. And scarred me. Plus how gross is it for a rest stop bathroom toilet to splash toilet water all over your butt when you're least expecting it? I'll tell you how gross. Super gross.

As someone very dear to me so eloquently described, "They're like the interrupting cow joke come to life, but in your most private moment." Well said, love. 

Now, automatic soap dispensers/paper towels/faucets make more sense, even though they're extremely flawed as well. I'm too lazy to complain about those right now, and I won't lie and say I'll do it later. Cause I won't. 

K gotta go bye.