The Thirsty Scholar Pub

So Mark, Lauren, and I ventured out in Somerville last Friday night with the end goal being to make friends. Let me break it down for you: Today is the 19th. Which means we now have only 12 days to make friends and get invited to some sort of Halloween festivities. Otherwise, Lauren and I will be spending the holiday in a bar surrounded by oddly dressed strangers. Which, actually, wouldn’t be all that bad. But friends are good. And we need some of those.

Back on track now. We spied a bar called the Thirsty Scholar just around the corner from our apartment (which I will refer to as the “American Dream” from now on), and decided that would be a good place to start our adventure. Rewinding for a sex: before we ventured out to the bar, Lauren and I cooked our very first dinner together! Yay for girl things. We made pasta with vegetables. I was very pleased, and Mark was impressed. Grown upssss in the house!

Anyway, after about four beers while attempting to decorate my room, we popped the champagne (no joke) and christened the apartment. It was only natural to then draw a mustache, tape it to the TV, and drink any time it matched up with someone’s face. I was definitely the most amused (no surprise there).

After polishing off the champagne, a few whiskey cokes, and a shot of good ol’ Canadian Comfort (we drink only the best at the American Dream), it was time to socialize, or attempt to socialize, with the Bostonians. So I navigated us to the Thirsty Scholar. Which, in the process of investigating the hours online, we learned is the bar in which the opening scene of the Social Network is filmed. Bad. Ass.

We grabbed a high table and let the people-watching and friend-hunting begin. As we looked around the bar, we realized we were almost certainly the youngest people there. There seemed to be quite a few tables occupied by people my parents’ age. Which is fine, because people that age are actually really fun to hang out with. But I figured we should shoot for the 20 to 30 age range. There also seemed to be quite a few tables of people on dates/double dates. Leave them alone for sure.

I was hoping since we were a very approachable mixed-gender group that perhaps friends would flock to us. Not quite how things went. Another thing was I wasn’t sure how to dress like an adult. I didn’t want to attract college students (there were none to be seen anyway), I didn’t want to look boring, and I definitely didn’t want to go full-on slut. How the hell does one dress like an approachable adult in need of friends? But not in a desperate way. Still trying to figure that one out. Take two to come tonight.

To make a long walk short (ish), we spotted three super hipsters walk in and sit at a neighboring table. Then we obviously spent about 30-45 minutes debating whether or not to approach them, what kind of strategy to use, and conversation topics. We decided bringing an offering of alcohol would be the best method. I mean, who denies someone bringing gifts in the form of booze?

So Mark made the move and brought our targets a bottle of Miller Lite. Yep, just one. See, our strategy was to introduce ourselves and teach them a new game to play. Which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the most mature/alluring thing in the world, but hey, we’re trying here. And they didn’t tell us to GTFO so I figured we did alright. We played the game where everyone puts one finger on the beverage to be drank, one person counts three, two, one and then you can choose to either leave your finger on, or take it off. After counting down to one, the person guesses how many digits will remain on the bottle. If they’re right, they take their finger out for the round and they’re safe. Repeat until one person becomes the loser and has to drink. Not a bad game, right? Also not a super well-known one, so we taught our hipster friends a cool, entertaining game whilst showing them how awesome we are/sending out friend vibes.

Unfortunately for us, we chose to approach them a bit too close to closing time… so we only hung out with them for about 30 minutes. But better than nothing, I suppose. Also let me address how intensely hipster these individuals were: all three of them were wearing the typical hipster glasses. They work at an architecture firm. Both guys were wearing some sort of striped shirt+jacket combo. The girl was cute in a weird way. And they live in Boston. ‘Nuff said.

Overall they seemed like fun, decent individuals with a good sense of humor (a must), so I wouldn’t mind running into them again. Not sure they’d say that much, but who knows.

Our hipster friends left about 15 minutes prior to closing, and we deemed the night a decent success. However, we didn’t get any numbers. BUT they said they go to the Thirsty Scholar pretty often, so we should run into them again. I feel like Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man. How the cheesecake do you make friends in a new city? Do you go on friend dates? You definitely don’t go on Craig’s List. I know that much.

That's all.
(Can you tell I'm watching The Devil Wears Prada?) (Side note: 00:40 Ohhhh god I love that movie.)